Last updated: June 19, 2026
If you are in danger now
Call 911 if you or your child may be hurt right now, someone has a weapon, a threat is happening, a crime is in progress, or you need emergency medical help.
If it is not safe to speak or use your own device, use the safest contact option you can reach. A trusted friend, school, clinic, library, workplace, shelter advocate, or public office may be safer. Calls, texts, apps, location sharing, smart devices, cloud accounts, and browser history can sometimes be watched.
For confidential support, call The Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use chat when it is safe. In Washington, use WSCADV help to find a local domestic violence program. For food, shelter, rent, utilities, transportation, or local referrals, dial 211, call 1-877-211-9274, text 211WAOD to 898211, or search WA 211 by ZIP code.
Bottom line
Washington has several real help paths for a single mother dealing with abuse: local advocates, protection orders, safe address help, legal aid, housing protections, cash or food benefits, child care help, crime victim benefits, and workplace leave. None of these is automatic. Some depend on safety, county resources, income, court rules, paperwork, or program funding.
This guide is general information only. It is not legal advice, safety-plan advice, medical advice, or benefits advice. A local advocate, legal aid program, court clerk, benefits worker, school counselor, or licensed professional can help you talk through your own situation.
For broader state help, use Washington help as a starting point. For same-day local referrals, see Washington emergency help after you handle immediate safety.
Where to start in Washington
Start with the safest contact you can make and the most urgent problem. You do not have to know the right program name before you call. You can say, “I am a mother in Washington. I am worried about abuse, threats, or stalking. I need help thinking through safe options and local resources.”
Unsafe right now
Call 911. If speaking is not safe, follow the dispatcher’s instructions as best you can.
Need an advocate
Use WSCADV or The Hotline to reach a domestic violence advocate. Ask about safer contact, shelter screening, legal advocacy, and child-focused support.
Need court help
Ask an advocate or legal aid about protection orders, parenting concerns, address privacy, service of papers, and whether filing could increase danger.
Need basic needs
Use 211 and Washington Connection for food, cash, medical, child care, and local referrals. Tell the worker if safe contact is a concern.
For a national safety overview, ASMOM’s domestic violence guide explains common help paths without replacing local advice.
Quick reference table
| Need | Start here | What to ask |
|---|---|---|
| Immediate danger | 911 | Tell the dispatcher if children are with you and whether medical help is needed. |
| Domestic violence advocacy | WSCADV or The Hotline | Ask for a local program and safer ways to communicate. |
| Food, rent, utilities, referrals | Washington 211 | Ask for resources by ZIP code and say if safety is a concern. |
| Protection order | Court, advocate, or legal aid | Ask how your county accepts filings and how to protect your address. |
| Safe mailing address | Address Confidentiality Program | Ask if ACP fits your safety plan before applying. |
| Crime-related costs | L&I crime victim benefits | Ask what records are needed and how to check a claim. |
Hotlines and local advocates
Hotlines and local programs can help you think through options without forcing one choice. They may help with safety planning, shelter screening, protection order information, court support, counseling referrals, transportation ideas, and children’s needs.
- Local Washington programs: use WSCADV to find a domestic violence program by county, including many community-based and culturally specific programs.
- National Hotline: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat online when it is safe.
- Native survivors: call or text StrongHearts at 1-844-762-8483 for Native-centered support.
- Sexual assault support: contact RAINN at 1-800-656-4673, chat online, or text HOPE to 64673.
- Mental health crisis: call, text, or chat with 988 Lifeline for emotional crisis support.
Technology safety note
If you think someone is watching your phone, car, accounts, or computer, talk with an advocate before making sudden changes. Changing passwords, turning off location, or removing apps can sometimes alert an abusive person. A safer device or a trusted phone may be better for first contact.
Protection orders and legal help
A protection order is a court order. It may tell the other person not to contact you, not to come near you, leave a home, surrender weapons, or follow other court rules. It can be useful, but it is not the safest choice for every person. Talk with a local advocate or legal aid if you are worried that filing could increase danger.
Washington State Courts posts official Washington court forms for protection orders. Protection order guide materials from Washington LawHelp can help you understand the process, but they are not a lawyer for your case.
The OCLA DV program funds civil legal aid for survivors in Washington. For statewide intake, use NJP legal help. Outside King County, CLEAR is 1-888-201-1014 on weekday morning hours; in King County, call 211 for legal referral.
| Legal issue | Who may help | Reality check |
|---|---|---|
| Protection order | Advocate, court clerk, legal aid | Clerks can explain process, but cannot give legal advice. |
| Custody or parenting plan | Family law legal aid or attorney | General advice is not enough when court orders affect children. |
| Immigration-related abuse | Immigration-safe legal program | Get legal advice before filing immigration forms. |
| Address privacy | Advocate, ACP, court, legal aid | Court papers can become public unless protected by court rules. |
For related next steps, see Washington legal help. If child support is part of the issue, use Washington child support and tell legal aid if contact with the other parent could be unsafe.
Housing and address safety
If you rent in Washington, state law may give survivors of domestic violence, sexual assault, unlawful harassment, or stalking ways to end a rental agreement early with proper documentation. The law is detailed, so talk with an advocate or legal aid before giving sensitive papers to a landlord if you can do so safely. Read RCW 59.18.575 with an advocate if you can.
Washington’s Address Confidentiality Program can give eligible survivors a substitute mailing address for many state and local government records. It is not shelter, money, or legal help. The state says applicants work with trained application assistants, so ask a local advocate whether ACP fits your safety plan.
If you live in federally assisted housing, HUD VAWA explains federal housing protections for survivors of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, and stalking. Ask legal aid or a housing advocate before giving private safety records to a landlord, housing authority, or property manager.
For basic housing needs, use Washington housing help. For related utility, ride, and local agency help, check Washington utility help, Washington transportation, and Washington local help before you make more calls.
Cash, food, child care, and health benefits
Money problems can trap a parent in an unsafe home. Washington benefits can help, but they have rules and interviews. Start with Washington Connection or use DSHS apply for services steps. If unsafe mail, calls, or messages are a concern, say you have a family violence concern and ask for safe contact options.
| Program | What it may help with | Where to start |
|---|---|---|
| TANF / WorkFirst | Monthly cash for eligible families with children or pregnant applicants | DSHS TANF |
| Diversion Cash Assistance | Short-term emergency cash for some TANF-eligible families | DSHS DCA |
| AREN | Emergency housing or utility help for some TANF or SFA households | DSHS AREN |
| Basic Food | Monthly food benefits for eligible households | Basic Food |
| Working Connections | Child care subsidy for eligible families in approved activities | Working Connections |
| Crime victim benefits | Some medical, mental health, wage loss, and other crime-related costs | Crime victim benefits |
DSHS has a family violence policy for WorkFirst cash assistance. It recognizes that abuse can affect work, training, transportation, child support, court, recovery, and safety. Ask your worker to screen for family violence if abuse affects your case.
If child support collection could put you or your child at risk, ask about DCS good cause. DSHS says it cannot require court orders or police records to support a good-cause claim because many survivors do not have those records or cannot safely get them.
For more ASMOM help, see Washington TANF, Washington food help, Washington child care, and Washington health care before you apply.
Work and school issues
Washington’s domestic violence leave page says employers cannot retaliate or discriminate against an actual or perceived victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, or a qualifying family member. Workers may also request reasonable safety accommodations, such as changes to work contact information or safety procedures, unless it creates an undue hardship.
If an employer asks for proof, L&I says documentation can include a police report, court document, your written statement, or a statement from a provider, clergy, attorney, or advocate. You do not have to give information beyond the scope of verification or information that would compromise safety.
If you are in school or job training, ask the program about attendance, make-up work, emergency withdrawal, online options, and safe contact rules. If you receive TANF, ask your WorkFirst worker whether a family violence plan can adjust activities while you handle court, housing, child care, or health needs.
Children, schools, clinics, and safety concerns
Children may need support even when they were not physically hurt. A child may need a safe adult at school, counseling, help with attendance, medical care, or a referral from a clinic. A domestic violence advocate can help you think through child-focused referrals without sharing details in unsafe ways.
If you suspect child abuse or neglect in Washington, DCYF says to call 1-866-363-4276. Use DCYF child abuse information for reporting steps and relay-service options. Call 911 first if a child is in immediate danger.
If health coverage is part of the problem, Washington HCA has a health coverage FAQ for survivors applying for health care coverage. It says a survivor living with or fleeing domestic violence can apply for health coverage through Washington Healthplanfinder at any time.
Documents and device safety
Only gather documents if it is safe. Do not risk harm to get paperwork. Many programs can still talk with you even if you do not have every item.
| Item | Why it may help | Safety note |
|---|---|---|
| Photo ID | Benefits, shelter, court, school, health care | Ask if a copy is enough. |
| Children’s records | School, benefits, child care, health care | Do not risk harm to get originals. |
| Benefit letters | SNAP, TANF, child care, health care | Hide case numbers if sharing copies. |
| Rent or utility papers | Housing help, AREN, legal aid | Photos may be unsafe on a shared device. |
| Court or police records | Legal aid, protection orders, crime victim claims | Ask before sending sensitive files. |
| Safe contact details | Helps agencies avoid unsafe calls or mail | Say if phone, email, or mail is not safe. |
For a broader paperwork list, use ASMOM’s documents checklist, but adjust it with an advocate if safety is an issue.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Do not assume a hotline call starts a court case. Advocacy and court are separate.
- Do not put a private address in public papers without asking first. Court and agency records may be seen by others.
- Do not skip benefits interviews. If abuse caused a missed interview, call back and explain the family violence issue if safe.
- Do not rely on one program only. Shelter, food, child care, transportation, legal aid, and benefits often have to work together.
- Do not pay for fake grant lists. Real help usually comes from benefits, courts, legal aid, nonprofits, and local agencies.
If you are denied, delayed, or overwhelmed
If a program says no, ask for the reason in writing when it is safe and ask about appeal rights or the next place to call. For DSHS benefits, ask how to request a hearing. For crime victim benefits, ask L&I how to protest or appeal. For legal problems, call legal aid quickly because court deadlines can be short.
If shelter is full, ask the advocate about other counties, motel funds, rapid rehousing, coordinated entry, transportation help, and safe ways to check back. A no from one shelter or agency does not always mean no help exists. It may mean no bed is open, funding is closed, or the issue is handled by another program.
If benefits are denied, delayed, or closed, use ASMOM’s benefits problem help guide for calm next steps. If you need mental health support while waiting, call 988 or ask a local advocate for counseling referrals.
Phone scripts
Calling a DV advocate
“Hi, I am a mother in Washington and I am dealing with abuse, threats, or stalking. I need to talk safely. Can you help me with shelter options, protection order help, safe contact, and next steps for my children?”
Calling DSHS
“I need to apply for food or cash help, and there is a family violence concern. What safe contact options are available, and can I talk with someone about family violence screening or good cause for child support?”
Calling a court clerk
“I need information about filing for a protection order in this county. How can I file, what forms do I need, and what should I do if I need my address protected?”
Calling L&I Crime Victims
“I may need help with medical, counseling, or wage loss costs after a crime. Can you tell me how to apply for crime victim benefits and what documents I should send?”
Resumen en español
Si usted o sus hijos están en peligro inmediato en Washington, llame al 911. Para ayuda confidencial por violencia doméstica, llame a The Hotline al 1-800-799-7233 o mande START al 88788 si es seguro hacerlo. También puede buscar un programa local por condado con WSCADV.
Si necesita comida, vivienda, renta, servicios públicos, transporte, cuidado infantil o referencias locales, llame al 211 o al 1-877-211-9274. Si necesita una orden de protección, ayuda legal, una dirección más segura, o beneficios, hable con una defensora local o asistencia legal antes de decidir qué hacer.
Esta guía es información general. No es consejo legal, médico, de seguridad ni de beneficios.
FAQs about domestic violence help in Washington
Where can I get domestic violence help in Washington right now?
Call 911 if there is immediate danger. For confidential advocacy, call The Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use WSCADV to find a local program. For shelter, food, rent, utility, and local referrals, call Washington 211.
Can a Washington advocate help me file a protection order?
Many local advocates can explain the process, help with forms, and talk through safety concerns. They are not the same as a lawyer. For legal advice, ask legal aid or an attorney.
Can I get cash or food help if I leave an abusive home?
Possibly. TANF, Diversion Cash Assistance, AREN, Basic Food, and local emergency funds may help, but each has rules. Apply through Washington Connection or DSHS, and tell the worker if family violence affects your case.
Can I keep my address private in Washington?
The Washington Address Confidentiality Program may help eligible survivors use a substitute mailing address for many state and local government records. It is not emergency shelter or legal help, and it works best with a broader safety plan.
What if child support is unsafe?
If TANF or DCS child support cooperation could create harm, ask DSHS about good cause. DSHS says it cannot require court orders or police records to support a good-cause claim.
What if my phone is being watched?
Use the safest device you can. A trusted phone, public computer, school, clinic, library, or advocate may be safer. Do not make sudden tech changes if that could put you at risk. Ask an advocate or tech-safety resource first.
About this guide
This guide uses official federal, state, local, and other high-trust nonprofit and community sources mentioned in the article.
A Single Mother is independent and is not a government agency, benefits office, lender, law firm, medical provider, or tax advisor.
Program rules, funding, local availability, and eligibility can change. Always confirm details with the official program before you apply or make decisions.
Verification: Last verified June 19, 2026, next review September 19, 2026.
Corrections: If you see something wrong or outdated, email suggestions@asinglemother.org.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information only. It is not legal, financial, medical, tax, immigration, disability, safety, or government-agency advice.