Last updated: May 20, 2026
Urgent help first
If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911 or go to a safer public place if you can do that safely. If calling could put you in more danger, use a safer phone, a trusted person’s device, or a public computer when possible.
- Call the National DV Hotline at 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use chat. The Hotline also has a quick-exit button and digital safety notes.
- Find a California shelter, advocate, or county hotline through the California DV directory.
- For court protection, start with the California Courts domestic violence restraining order guide.
- If your address needs to stay private, ask a local advocate about Safe at Home, California’s address confidentiality program.
This guide is general information only. It is not legal advice or a safety plan. A trained domestic violence advocate, lawyer, court self-help center, or emergency responder can help you talk through your own situation.
Bottom line
California has several real help paths for single mothers dealing with abuse: 24-hour hotline support, local domestic violence programs, restraining orders, address privacy, public benefits, victim compensation, housing protections, job leave rights, and child custody safeguards.
The best first step depends on what you need today. If you need safety now, contact 911 or a domestic violence advocate. If you need a court order, use the California Courts DV guide or your court self-help center. If you need food, cash aid, child care, or housing help, apply through your county or BenefitsCal and ask about domestic abuse supports if CalWORKs rules are unsafe for you.
Where to start
If you need safety today
Call 911 if there is immediate danger. If you need shelter, a safety talk, or local referrals, contact the National DV Hotline or a county program from the California DV directory.
If you need court protection
A domestic violence restraining order can cover no-contact rules, stay-away rules, move-out orders, firearm limits, and temporary child custody or support orders. The court process usually starts with forms and a temporary order decision.
If you need food or cash help
Apply for CalFresh and CalWORKs through BenefitsCal or your county social services office. If abuse makes work rules, child support cooperation, or paperwork unsafe, ask about CalWORKs domestic abuse waivers.
If housing is unsafe
California law and federal housing rules may help with lock changes, ending a lease early, or an emergency transfer in covered subsidized housing. Talk with legal aid or a DV advocate before you give a landlord sensitive documents.
Quick reference table
| Need | Start here | What to ask for |
|---|---|---|
| Immediate danger | 911 or a safe public place | Emergency response and, when appropriate, an emergency protective order |
| Confidential advocacy | National DV Hotline or local DV program | Shelter, safety planning, legal referrals, child safety support, and local resources |
| Court protection | California Courts DV guide | Help filing a DV restraining order and finding your local self-help center |
| Food or cash aid | BenefitsCal or county office | CalFresh, CalWORKs, child care, and domestic abuse waivers |
| Crime costs | CalVCB | Help with eligible crime-related expenses after other payment sources are used |
| Address privacy | Safe at Home | A substitute mailing address and government-record privacy when eligible |
Restraining orders in California
A domestic violence restraining order can protect you, your children, your pets, your home, and your property. California Courts says abuse can be physical, emotional, psychological, verbal, financial, or online. A judge can include no-contact rules, stay-away rules, move-out orders, firearm restrictions, temporary child custody, and child support.
There is no court fee to ask for a domestic violence restraining order, and you do not have to have a lawyer. A lawyer or advocate can still be very helpful, especially if custody, immigration, housing, or criminal issues are involved.
| Order or help | What it can do | Where to begin |
|---|---|---|
| Emergency protective order | Can give short-term protection when law enforcement asks a judicial officer because there is immediate danger. It ends at the earlier of the fifth court day or seventh calendar day after it is issued. | Ask the responding officer |
| Temporary restraining order | A judge can decide quickly after you file forms, often the same day or next business day. | DVRO steps |
| Long-term DVRO | If granted after a hearing, it can last up to 5 years. | Attend the court hearing |
| Renewal | You can ask to renew a long-term order before it expires. There is no fee to ask for renewal. | renew a DVRO |
| Self-help center | Can provide legal information and resources if you do not have a lawyer. | self-help center |
Safety note before filing
Court papers may have addresses, phone numbers, and details about what happened. Ask a court self-help center, legal aid office, or advocate how to protect sensitive information before you file if you are worried the other person may find you.
Money, food, child care, and benefit help
Leaving abuse can affect rent, work, child care, food, transportation, and documents. Public benefits are not the same as a grant, and approval is not automatic. But these programs can be important if you are trying to stabilize your family.
| Program | What it may help with | Reality check |
|---|---|---|
| CalWORKs | Cash aid and services for eligible California families with children. CDSS says families may receive monthly help and, in some cases, immediate short-term help. | Rules and amounts depend on county review, income, household details, and program rules. |
| Domestic abuse waiver | Can modify or temporarily excuse some CalWORKs rules if domestic abuse makes participation unsafe or too hard. | Ask your county worker directly. CDSS says waived rules can include Welfare-to-Work, time limits, parental establishment, child support cooperation, and immunization proof. |
| CalFresh | Monthly food benefits on an EBT card for eligible low-income households. | Ask about expedited service if you have little income or resources, but the county decides eligibility. |
| CalVCB | May help with eligible crime-related expenses such as medical, mental health, income loss, relocation, or residential security after other payment sources are used. | It is the payor of last resort. Keep receipts, reports, bills, and insurance information. |
| Child care | CalWORKs child care or subsidized child care may help you work, attend required appointments, or stabilize after leaving. | Availability, waitlists, and paperwork vary by county and program. |
For ASMOM guides that match these needs, see California emergency help, California CalWORKs, California CalFresh, and California childcare help.
Housing and address safety
If your home is unsafe, start with a domestic violence advocate or legal aid office. A shelter advocate may know which local shelters have openings, whether hotel help exists, and what documents a landlord or housing authority can ask for.
California Civil Code section 1946.7 allows certain tenants affected by domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, human trafficking, elder or dependent adult abuse, and some violent crimes to end a rental agreement early with written notice and allowed documentation. The law says the tenant is responsible for no more than 14 calendar days of rent after giving the notice, unless a shorter period applies.
California also has lock-change protections. Under the current lock change law, an eligible tenant can request a lock change with certain documentation when the person alleged to have committed abuse or violence is not a tenant in the same unit. The landlord must act within 24 hours, and the law includes reimbursement rules if the tenant changes the locks after the landlord does not act.
If you live in public housing, Section 8, or other covered federally assisted housing, HUD VAWA rights may protect you from being denied, evicted, or terminated because of abuse. HUD says covered survivors can request an emergency transfer and can self-certify with Form HUD-5382 unless the housing provider has conflicting information.
For related housing steps, use California housing help, California utility help, and the local resource guide.
Work, custody, child support, and guns
Work and paid sick leave
California paid sick leave rules generally require at least 40 hours or 5 days per year for covered workers. The state says paid sick leave can be used for certain reasons related to being a victim of a qualifying act of violence, or for a family member who is a victim. Local rules or employer policies may give more protection.
If you need job-related help, keep messages, schedules, court papers, medical notes, and written requests in a safe place. The ASMOM guide to California workplace rights can help you find the right agency path.
Custody and child support
California Courts says judges must follow special laws when domestic violence affects custody. A court may order supervised visits, no visits, or other limits if needed for a child’s safety. If CalWORKs asks you to cooperate with child support and that would be unsafe, ask your county worker about the domestic abuse waiver before sharing information that could put you at risk.
For more background, use custody and abuse, California child support, and California legal help.
Firearms and threats
If guns are part of the threat, tell 911, the court, and your advocate if it is safe to do so. A domestic violence restraining order can include firearm restrictions. A separate gun violence restraining order may also be available in certain situations. California Courts explains who can ask for one in the gun order guide.
Documents and information to gather
Do not delay urgent help because you do not have perfect paperwork. Bring what you can, and ask the office what else is needed.
- Photo ID, if you have it.
- Children’s birth certificates, school records, Medi-Cal numbers, or Social Security numbers, if available.
- Proof of income, rent, utilities, child care costs, and food costs.
- Police reports, court orders, photos, texts, medical records, or witness names, if safe to keep.
- Shelter letters, advocate letters, or third-party statements when a program allows them.
- Receipts for relocation, locks, medical care, counseling, transportation, or other crime-related costs.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Putting a current address on forms before asking how to keep it private.
- Assuming a landlord, employer, or benefits worker knows domestic violence rules.
- Waiting to ask for CalWORKs domestic abuse help if a rule is unsafe.
- Missing a court date because papers were confusing. Call the court self-help center as soon as possible.
- Sending original documents when copies would work.
If help is denied, delayed, or feels unsafe
If an office says no, ask for the decision in writing and ask how to appeal, request a fair hearing, or speak with a supervisor. If a court, landlord, employer, or benefits office response feels unsafe or confusing, contact a domestic violence advocate or legal aid office before taking the next step.
For health, counseling, and stress support after abuse, see California health care and California mental health. For broader state help, see California grants guide.
Local and statewide resources
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use online chat. Use a safer device if your phone or browser may be watched.
- California Partnership directory: Use the county map to find local domestic violence programs, hotline numbers, and shelter-connected agencies.
- California Courts: Use the DV restraining order guide, local self-help center finder, and court interpreter information.
- Safe at Home: Call 877-322-5227 or ask an enrolling agency about the program if you need a confidential mailing address.
- CalVCB: Call 800-777-9229 or apply online if you need help with eligible crime-related expenses.
- County social services: Use the CDSS county office list if you need CalWORKs, CalFresh, Medi-Cal, or child care help.
Short phone scripts
Calling a domestic violence program
“I am a single mother in California. I need confidential help with safety, shelter options, and court or benefits referrals. Is this a safe time to talk, and can you tell me what information you need from me first?”
Calling the court self-help center
“I need information about filing a domestic violence restraining order. I have children, and I am worried about address privacy and custody. What forms should I start with, and how can I ask for an interpreter or a safe waiting area?”
Calling county social services
“I want to apply for CalWORKs, CalFresh, and child care. Domestic abuse is affecting my safety and my ability to meet program rules. How do I request a domestic abuse waiver or speak with a worker trained on this?”
Calling a housing provider
“I am asking about housing protections for a survivor of abuse. I need to know your process for a lock change, early lease ending, or VAWA emergency transfer. Please tell me what written request and documents you require.”
Resumen en espanol
Si usted o sus hijos estan en peligro inmediato, llame al 911. Para ayuda confidencial, llame a la Linea Nacional contra la Violencia Domestica al 800-799-7233 o envie START al 88788. En California, tambien puede pedir una orden de restriccion, ayuda de refugio, beneficios de comida o dinero, proteccion de vivienda, y ayuda para mantener su direccion privada. Si hablar por telefono no es seguro, use un telefono seguro o pida ayuda a una persona de confianza.
FAQ
Can a single mother get a restraining order in California without a lawyer?
Yes. California Courts says there is no court fee to ask for a domestic violence restraining order, and you do not have to have a lawyer. A lawyer, advocate, or self-help center can still help you understand forms, custody issues, and safety concerns.
Can a California restraining order include my children?
It can. A judge may include orders that protect children and may make temporary child custody and child support orders. What the judge orders depends on the facts and evidence in the case.
Can CalWORKs rules be changed because of domestic abuse?
Possibly. CDSS says CalWORKs domestic abuse supports may include waivers or changes to some program rules when participation is unsafe or unreasonably difficult. Ask your county worker directly.
Can I break a lease because of domestic violence in California?
California law may allow certain tenants affected by abuse or violence to end a rental agreement early with written notice and allowed documentation. Talk with an advocate or legal aid office before giving sensitive papers to a landlord.
Does VAWA protect all housing?
No. HUD VAWA housing protections apply to many federally assisted housing programs, including public housing and Housing Choice Vouchers. Private housing may have different state or local protections.
Where can I find a local domestic violence shelter in California?
Use the California Partnership to End Domestic Violence county directory or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Shelter availability changes, so an advocate is usually the best person to check current options.
About this guide
This guide uses official federal, state, local, and other high-trust nonprofit and community sources mentioned in the article.
A Single Mother is independent and is not a government agency, benefits office, lender, law firm, medical provider, or tax advisor.
Program rules, funding, local availability, and eligibility can change. Always confirm details with the official program before you apply or make decisions.
Verification: Last verified May 20, 2026, next review August 20, 2026.
Corrections: If you see something wrong or outdated, email suggestions@asinglemother.org.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information only. It is not legal, financial, medical, tax, immigration, disability, safety, or government-agency advice.