Last updated: June 19, 2026
Urgent help in North Carolina
If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911. If you can, say where you are and whether there are weapons, children, injuries, a protective order, or a medical emergency.
- Domestic violence hotline: Call the National DV Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or use online chat.
- Local shelter and advocacy: Search by county through the NCCADV directory or the state DVSA directory.
- Food, shelter, utilities, and local help: Dial 2-1-1 or 1-888-892-1162 through NC 211. It is a statewide information and referral service.
- Mental health crisis: Call or text 988. North Carolina explains crisis options on the 988 Lifeline page.
Privacy note: Internet, phone, app, location, email, and account use can be monitored. Use a safer phone or computer when possible. If you cannot safely browse, call a hotline or ask a trusted person, clinic, school, library, or agency to help you contact an advocate.
Bottom line
If you are a single mother in North Carolina dealing with domestic violence, start with safety first, then connect with a local advocate before making big moves. A trained advocate can help you think through shelter, transportation, protective orders, children, pets, work, school, benefits, and safe contact.
This guide is for general information only. It is not legal advice and it is not a personal safety plan. Domestic violence cases can be risky and fast-changing. A trained advocate, lawyer, court clerk, or law enforcement officer can help you understand what applies to your situation.
For a national safety overview, see ASMOM’s domestic violence help. For urgent bills, food, shelter, or transportation, keep NC emergency help nearby.
Where to start today
You do not have to solve everything at once. Pick the next safe step. If the person hurting you checks your phone, tracks your location, controls money, threatens the children, has weapons, or has isolated you from help, talk with an advocate before changing routines or filing papers when possible.
You need to leave tonight
Call 911 for immediate danger. For shelter planning, call a local domestic violence agency. For food, transportation, and local referrals, call NC 211. Do not post your plan online.
You need court protection
Read the NC Courts guide, then call your county agency or courthouse clerk. Ask how your county handles 50B filings and after-hours emergencies.
You need food or health care
Apply through NC ePASS or contact your county DSS. Ask about Food and Nutrition Services, Medicaid, WIC, child care, and Work First.
You need legal help
Contact Legal Aid NC for civil legal help with protective orders and related safety issues. Survivor services may use different screening rules.
For wider state help, use ASMOM’s North Carolina help guide as a next-step checklist.
Quick reference table
| Need | Best first contact | What to ask |
|---|---|---|
| You are in danger now | 911 | Ask for emergency help and mention children, weapons, injuries, or a protective order. |
| Safe shelter or planning | County DV agency | Ask for confidential safety planning, shelter screening, transportation, and court advocacy. |
| DVPO or court forms | Clerk or advocate | Ask how your county handles 50B filings, after-hours options, and Guide & File. |
| Food, Medicaid, cash help | County DSS | Ask how to apply safely and how to protect your contact information. |
| Public or subsidized housing | Landlord or PHA | Ask for VAWA rights, confidentiality, lock-change rules, or emergency transfer steps. |
| Legal advice | Legal Aid NC | Ask about DVPOs, custody, housing, benefits, and safe child support questions. |
Protective orders in North Carolina
A Domestic Violence Protective Order is often called a DVPO or 50B order. It is a civil court order that can require the person causing harm to stay away. North Carolina courts say law enforcement can arrest a person who violates the order. A final DVPO can last up to one year and may be renewed in some cases.
You may be able to file if the abuse involves a spouse, former spouse, someone you live with or lived with, someone you share a child with, a qualifying dating partner, or certain family members. North Carolina courts also explain that anyone living in North Carolina can file regardless of citizenship or immigration status.
The official DVPO forms include the complaint and instructions. North Carolina law says court costs and attorney fees are not assessed for filing, issuing, registering, or serving a protective order, except in limited court-rule situations. You can review the law in Chapter 50B.
If you do not have the relationship needed for a 50B order but the situation involves stalking or sexual assault, ask the clerk or Legal Aid about a 50C no-contact order. North Carolina courts also provide a 50C complaint form.
| Court path | May fit when | Reality check |
|---|---|---|
| DVPO / 50B | You have a qualifying relationship and domestic violence facts under NC law. | The case must be filed, the other person must be served, and you may have to return for a hearing. |
| Ex parte DVPO | You ask for short-term emergency protection before the other person is heard. | A judge or authorized official must decide based on the facts you give. |
| 50C no-contact order | Stalking or nonconsensual sexual conduct is involved, but the relationship does not fit 50B. | It is not the same as a 50B. Ask for legal help before choosing forms. |
| Criminal case | Police or prosecutors bring charges after an incident. | A criminal case is separate from a civil protective-order case in many counties. |
Safety and custody caution
A DVPO may include temporary custody, housing, and contact terms, but it is not a full custody plan for every family. If children are involved, talk with Legal Aid, a private attorney, or a local advocate before making decisions about exchanges, school pickup, shared devices, or communication with the other parent.
Shelter and local domestic violence advocates
North Carolina has local domestic violence agencies serving all 100 counties. Services vary by county and funding, but local programs may offer 24-hour crisis lines, emergency shelter, court advocacy, support groups, counseling referrals, transportation planning, help with children, and safety planning.
Use the NCCADV directory or the state DVSA directory to find your county provider. Shelter beds are not always open. If one program is full, ask whether they can call nearby counties, help with transportation, or connect you to another safe option.
- Local domestic violence agency: Ask for safety planning, shelter screening, court advocacy, and help with Address Confidentiality Program enrollment.
- NC 211: Ask for shelter, food, clothing, diapers, utility help, transportation, and county-specific referrals.
- Legal Aid: Ask about DVPOs, housing rights, custody concerns, and safety-related civil legal issues.
If you need broader local help while a shelter or court issue is pending, use ASMOM’s NC community support guide.
Address privacy, housing, and lock changes
If you move or are in the process of moving because of domestic violence, sexual assault, stalking, or human trafficking, the North Carolina Address Confidentiality Program may help keep your new address out of public records. You apply through a trained application assistant, often at a domestic violence or sexual assault center.
North Carolina also has lock-change rules for some renters. State law says if the person causing harm is not a tenant in the same unit, a protected tenant can ask the landlord to change the locks without providing documentation. If the person causing harm is on the lease, the landlord may need a court order requiring that person to stay away before changing locks. Ask an advocate or legal aid before taking housing steps that could affect your lease.
If you live in public housing, have a Housing Choice Voucher, or live in other HUD-covered housing, VAWA housing protections may apply. HUD explains that covered providers must keep survivor information confidential and offers forms for certification and emergency transfer. Start with HUD VAWA rights, then ask your landlord or public housing authority for its emergency transfer plan.
For rent, shelter, and utility next steps, use ASMOM’s NC housing help and NC utility help.
Food, health care, child care, and money while you stabilize
Leaving abuse can interrupt income, transportation, child care, mail, school routines, and health care. Benefits can be slow, so apply as soon as it is safe. You can apply for several North Carolina benefits through ePASS or through your county DSS. Use the DSS directory if you need phone numbers, office addresses, or mailing information.
| Program | What it may help with | Where to start |
|---|---|---|
| Food and Nutrition Services | Monthly food benefits on an EBT card if eligible. | Use FNS benefits or county DSS. |
| NC Medicaid | Health coverage for eligible children, pregnant people, parents, adults, and some people with disabilities. | Use Medicaid apply and ask for interpreter help or safe contact. |
| WIC | Food, nutrition support, breastfeeding help, and referrals for pregnant or postpartum mothers, babies, and children under 5. | Contact NC WIC or your local WIC clinic. |
| Work First | Temporary cash assistance and services for some families with children. | Review Work First and ask DSS about safety and good cause. |
| Child Care Subsidy | Help paying for child care through a voucher system if eligible. | Review child care subsidy and apply in your county. |
| Victim Compensation | Some crime-related medical, counseling, lost wage, and funeral costs. | Start with Victim Compensation. |
Ask about safe contact
When you apply for benefits, tell the worker if mail, calls, texts, online notices, or child support contact could put you at risk. Ask how to add a safe mailing address, a trusted representative, or a different way to receive notices.
For focused ASMOM help, see NC SNAP help, NC WIC help, NC child care, and NC health care.
If child support cooperation could put you or your child at risk, ask DSS about good cause before giving more information. ASMOM’s NC child support guide can help you prepare questions, but a domestic violence advocate or legal aid office is better for safety-specific advice.
Crime-related costs and compensation
North Carolina’s Victim Compensation Program may reimburse eligible expenses for survivors of violent crime and families of homicide victims. The state says the program can help with eligible expenses such as medical care, counseling, lost wages, and funeral services. Domestic violence and sexual assault may be covered when program rules are met.
Compensation does not cover every loss and it does not replace all income. Ask an advocate, law enforcement victim witness office, prosecutor’s office, or the program how to apply. Keep receipts, bills, police report numbers, wage records, and counseling records if you can do so safely.
Documents and information checklist
Do not delay an emergency call or a benefits application just because you do not have every paper. Gather what you can safely access. Copies or photos may help, but do not risk being found out to get paperwork. For a wider benefits folder, use ASMOM’s documents checklist.
| Item | Why it may help | Safety note |
|---|---|---|
| ID for you and children | Benefits, shelter intake, school, medical care, court, and housing. | Use copies if originals are unsafe to get. |
| Birth certificates and SSNs | DSS, Medicaid, WIC, school, and child care applications. | Ask DSS what can be verified later if papers are missing. |
| Lease, mail, or utility bill | Residency, lock changes, housing help, and public benefits. | Do not share a new address with unsafe people. |
| Pay stubs or income proof | SNAP, Medicaid, WIC, Work First, child care, and housing. | If income stopped, ask how to report the change. |
| Police report or court papers | DVPO, VAWA housing request, crime victim compensation, and some referrals. | A local advocate can help decide what to share. |
| Medical or counseling bills | Victim Compensation and health coverage questions. | Keep copies in a safe place or with a trusted person. |
Common mistakes to avoid
- Leaving without a safety contact: If you can, talk with an advocate before leaving, filing, or confronting the other person.
- Assuming shelter is open: Beds change fast. Call first and ask about nearby programs if your county is full.
- Missing the DVPO hearing: A temporary order can be dismissed if you miss court. Ask the clerk or advocate what to do if you cannot attend.
- Using unsafe contact details: Benefits, courts, schools, and landlords may send notices. Ask about safe contact options.
- Sharing your plan by text: Shared phones, car apps, family plans, cloud accounts, and social media can reveal plans or locations.
- Relying only on grants: Most real help comes from benefits, legal aid, housing protections, local agencies, and verified nonprofits, not guaranteed cash grants.
If you are denied, delayed, ignored, or overwhelmed
If a program says no, ask for the reason in writing. For benefits, ask about appeal deadlines, missing documents, supervisor review, and how to report a change in income or address. For housing, ask for the VAWA policy or emergency transfer plan in writing. For court issues, ask the clerk what forms are available, then talk with Legal Aid or a local advocate before refiling or dismissing a case.
If one agency cannot help, call another safe entry point. NC 211, your county domestic violence agency, Legal Aid, DSS, schools, health clinics, and community groups may each know different local resources. Keep notes with dates, names, and what was said if it is safe to do so.
For organizing notices, deadlines, and appeal steps, use ASMOM’s case problem guide. For rides to court, benefits offices, shelter, clinics, or work, see NC transportation help.
Phone scripts you can use
Calling a domestic violence agency
“Hi, I am in North Carolina and I need confidential help. I have children with me. I need to talk about safety planning, shelter options, transportation, and court advocacy. Is now a safe time to explain my situation?”
Calling the courthouse clerk
“I need to ask how to file for a domestic violence protective order in this county. Do you have 50B forms, do you use Guide & File, and what happens if I need emergency help after hours?”
Calling DSS
“I am leaving a domestic violence situation and need to apply for food, Medicaid, and family assistance. What is the safest way to apply, and how can I keep my address or phone number private?”
Calling a housing provider
“I am a survivor and need to ask about VAWA housing protections. How do I request confidentiality, a lock change, or an emergency transfer? Please tell me what forms you need.”
Resumen en español
Si está en peligro inmediato en Carolina del Norte, llame al 911. Para ayuda confidencial por violencia doméstica, llame al 1-800-799-7233 o mande el texto START al 88788. También puede llamar al 2-1-1 o 1-888-892-1162 para buscar refugio, comida, vivienda, transporte y ayuda local.
Una agencia local de violencia doméstica puede ayudarle a hablar sobre seguridad, refugio, órdenes de protección, beneficios y recursos para sus hijos. Si su teléfono o internet pueden estar vigilados, use un dispositivo más seguro si es posible.
Esta guía es información general. No es consejo legal ni un plan personal de seguridad. Si puede, hable con una defensora, Legal Aid, la corte o una agencia oficial antes de tomar decisiones grandes.
FAQ
Can I get a protective order without a lawyer in North Carolina?
Yes. North Carolina courts say a person may file for a DVPO without a lawyer. A lawyer or advocate can still be very helpful, especially when children, housing, weapons, immigration concerns, or custody issues are involved.
Does it cost money to file for a DVPO?
North Carolina courts say clerks provide DVPO paperwork free of charge and there are no court costs. State law also says court costs and attorney fees are not assessed for filing, issuing, registering, or serving protective-order papers, except in limited court-rule situations.
What if I need shelter but my county program is full?
Ask the program whether it can check nearby counties, help with transportation, or refer you to another safe option. You can also call NC 211 for shelter, hotel, food, transportation, and local crisis referrals.
Can I keep my new address private?
Possibly. The North Carolina Address Confidentiality Program may help survivors use a substitute address after moving or while moving. You must apply through a trained application assistant and meet program rules.
Can I ask for housing help if abuse caused problems with my lease?
Maybe. If you live in HUD-covered housing, VAWA protections may help with confidentiality, emergency transfer requests, and protections against being denied or evicted because you are a survivor. Ask your landlord or public housing authority for its VAWA policy.
Can DSS make me pursue child support if it is unsafe?
Some benefit programs involve child support cooperation rules. If cooperation could put you or your child at risk, tell DSS right away and ask about good cause or safety-related exceptions. Ask for the answer in writing.
Last updated: June 19, 2026. Next review: September 19, 2026.
About this guide
This guide uses official federal, state, local, and other high-trust nonprofit and community sources mentioned in the article.
A Single Mother is independent and is not a government agency, benefits office, lender, law firm, medical provider, or tax advisor.
Program rules, funding, local availability, and eligibility can change. Always confirm details with the official program before you apply or make decisions.
Verification: Last verified June 19, 2026, next review September 19, 2026.
Corrections: If you see something wrong or outdated, email suggestions@asinglemother.org.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information only. It is not legal, financial, medical, tax, immigration, disability, safety, or government-agency advice.