Last updated: May 20, 2026
Urgent help first
If you or your children are in immediate danger, call 911 or leave this page and use a safer phone if you can. If it is not safe to talk, you can text the Virginia hotline instead.
The Virginia hotline is free, confidential, and open all day and night. Call 1-800-838-8238, text 804-793-9999, or use chat from a safer device.
This guide is general information. It is not legal advice, safety advice, medical advice, or a promise that a shelter bed, court order, benefit, or payment will be available.
Bottom line
In Virginia, the safest first step is usually to contact a confidential domestic or sexual violence advocate before making big moves. An advocate can help you think through shelter, transportation, court, child safety, address privacy, and benefits without forcing you to report to police.
Single mothers often need more than one kind of help at the same time. You may need a protective order, a safe place to sleep, child care, food help, legal aid, health care, and a plan for school or work. Start with safety, then add the services that fit your situation.
Where to start in Virginia
If you need to talk safely
Call or text the statewide hotline. You can ask for a local advocate, shelter options, court accompaniment, or help making a safer plan.
If you need court protection
Use the Virginia courts’ court self-help page or I-CAN Virginia to understand forms and next steps.
If you need food or cash help
Use CommonHelp for SNAP, TANF, child care, energy help, and health coverage screening.
If you need local services
Use 211 Virginia for food, rent, transportation, health care, and other community resources by ZIP code.
Quick contacts for Virginia
Use this table as a starting point. If you are worried that a partner, ex, relative, or other person is watching your phone or browser, use a safer device when possible.
| Need | Where to start | What to ask |
|---|---|---|
| Immediate danger | 911 | Ask for police, fire, or medical help now. |
| Domestic or sexual violence help | Virginia hotline: 1-800-838-8238 or text 804-793-9999 | Ask for a local advocate, shelter, transport help, or court support. |
| Local programs | local help map | Search by area for domestic and sexual violence agencies. |
| Food, rent, utilities, health care | 2-1-1 or text CONNECT to 247211 | Ask what is open in your city or county today. |
| Mental health crisis | 988 Lifeline | Call, text, or chat if you feel you may hurt yourself or cannot stay safe. |
Protective orders in Virginia
A protective order is a court order. It may tell the other person not to contact you, not to come near you, or to leave a shared home. It may also address children, pets, or other safety issues. The exact terms depend on the judge and the facts of the case.
Virginia courts describe two main paths: family abuse protective orders in Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court, and non-family abuse protective orders in General District Court. A local advocate or legal aid lawyer can help you decide which path fits your situation.
| Order type | Common use | Where to ask | Reality check |
|---|---|---|---|
| Emergency Protective Order | Immediate danger after an incident | Police, magistrate, or judge | It is short-term. Ask what to do before it expires. |
| Preliminary Protective Order | Temporary protection before a full hearing | Local court | You may need to return for another hearing soon. |
| Final Protective Order | Longer protection after a hearing | Court after notice and hearing | The other person may appear in court. Ask an advocate about court support. |
Practical court tips
Write down the dates, threats, injuries, police calls, photos, texts, and witnesses only if it is safe to do so. Do not risk your safety to gather papers. A local advocate can help you decide what to bring.
For legal help, use statewide legal aid intake at 1-866-534-5243. Legal aid may have income rules and case limits, so call early.
Shelter, safe housing, and address privacy
Shelter beds can fill quickly. The hotline can look for the closest safe option and may know which programs serve your county. Some programs also help with transportation, safety planning, counseling, court advocacy, and referrals for children.
The Virginia Department of Social Services says its Office of Family Violence partners with local programs that may offer hotlines, crisis help, advocacy, emergency housing, transportation, and referrals. Use VDSS domestic violence for a state-level overview, then ask the hotline for your local program.
If you live in public housing, have a Housing Choice Voucher, or live in other covered subsidized housing, federal VAWA rules may protect you from being denied housing, evicted, or punished because of abuse. HUD explains VAWA housing rights, and you may be able to use HUD Form 5382 to self-certify abuse when a covered housing provider asks for documentation.
If you recently moved and need to keep your address private, ask an advocate about Virginia’s Address Confidentiality Program. The program can provide a substitute mailing address for eligible survivors, but it is not a complete safety plan and does not erase old records.
Housing reality check
Emergency shelter, rapid rehousing, and rental help depend on local funding and space. If one agency says no, ask what to try next, and call 2-1-1 for another search by ZIP code.
Food, cash, child care, and health coverage
Leaving abuse can disrupt work, child care, transportation, and groceries. Public benefits are not instant, but applying early can help. Use one account on CommonHelp when possible so you can track more than one program.
| Program | What it may help with | Where to apply | Important note |
|---|---|---|---|
| SNAP | Food on an EBT card | Virginia SNAP | Virginia lists FY 2026 income and benefit standards for Oct. 1, 2025 to Sept. 30, 2026. |
| TANF | Monthly cash help and work supports | Virginia TANF | Families must meet child, residency, immigration, and financial need rules. |
| Child Care Subsidy | Child care while you work, train, or attend approved activities | child care subsidy | Local waitlists, provider rules, and copays can apply. |
| Medicaid/FAMIS | Health coverage for children, pregnant people, and eligible adults | Cover Virginia | Renewals matter. Missing renewal papers can cause coverage loss. |
| Child support | Help opening or managing a case | MyChildSupport | If safety is a concern, talk to a lawyer or advocate before starting a case. |
For more help on related needs, see ASMOM’s SNAP food guide, child care help, and Medicaid guide. For Virginia-specific help, start with Virginia single mother help before you apply.
Medical care, sexual assault exams, and victim help
If you were hurt, strangled, sexually assaulted, or threatened with a weapon, medical care can matter even if you are not sure you want to report to police. A hotline advocate can help you find a hospital, forensic nurse, or local sexual assault program.
The SAFE Payment Program helps with payment for forensic examination-related expenses after sexual assault. The Virginia Victims Fund may help eligible victims of violent crime with out-of-pocket costs such as medical bills, prescriptions, counseling, moving, temporary housing, or other approved expenses.
Victim funds have rules, forms, time limits, and documentation needs. If you are overwhelmed, ask a local victim/witness advocate, domestic violence advocate, or legal aid office to help you file.
Children, custody, support, and legal help
If the other parent is abusive, custody, visitation, child support, school pickup, and address privacy can become safety issues. Do not rely on online advice for these decisions. Ask a legal aid lawyer, court self-help staff, or domestic violence advocate before you file paperwork that may reveal your location or change parenting arrangements.
If you believe a child is being abused or neglected, call 911 for emergencies or contact Child Protective Services. Virginia also lists CPS hotline contacts through the Department of Social Services.
For ASMOM next steps, see Virginia child support, legal help, and domestic violence help.
Documents and information to gather if safe
Only gather documents if it will not put you or your children in more danger. An advocate can help you decide what matters most if you have to leave quickly.
| Item | Why it may help | Do not risk |
|---|---|---|
| IDs, birth certificates, Social Security cards | Benefits, school, housing, court, banking | Your safety to retrieve papers |
| Benefit cards and case numbers | SNAP, Medicaid, TANF, child care, child support | Taking a card if it alerts the abuser |
| Lease, voucher papers, utility bills | VAWA rights, rent help, utility help | Going back alone for papers |
| Protective order copies | Police, school, child care, housing office | Sharing copies with unsafe people |
| Safe contact list | Schools, doctors, lawyers, advocates | Saving names in a watched phone |
If you are denied, delayed, or ignored
It is common to hear that a shelter is full, an appointment is weeks away, or an office needs more paperwork. This does not mean you are out of options.
- Ask the hotline for another local program, not just one shelter.
- Ask the benefits office what proof is missing and how to submit it.
- Ask legal aid if there is a deadline or hearing date you should not miss.
- Ask 2-1-1 to search nearby counties if your city has no funding.
- Keep notes with names, dates, and what each office said, if safe.
ASMOM also has guides for Virginia housing help, Virginia TANF guide, Virginia community help, and rent help for next steps.
Backup options when the first call does not solve it
Domestic violence help is local. A rural county, college town, military area, or large city may have different options. If the first place cannot help, ask for a warm handoff, not just a phone number.
- Ask a hotline advocate to search surrounding areas for shelter or advocacy.
- Ask 2-1-1 about food pantries, hotel vouchers, transportation, diapers, and utility help.
- Ask your child’s school social worker about safe pickup notes, McKinney-Vento help, meals, and supplies.
- Ask your health clinic about a social worker, behavioral health referral, or Medicaid application help.
For practical needs after leaving, see baby gear in Virginia, Virginia transportation help, and emergency bills help while you make calls.
Phone scripts you can use
Calling the Virginia hotline
“I am a single mother in Virginia. I may not be safe at home. I need help finding local options for shelter, transportation, court advocacy, and a safety plan. It may not be safe to call me back.”
Calling legal aid
“I need help with a domestic violence situation involving children, housing, or a protective order. I have a hearing or deadline coming up. Can I do intake today, and what papers should I have ready?”
Calling a housing worker
“I am asking about VAWA housing protections because of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, or stalking. Please tell me how to request an emergency transfer or submit self-certification.”
Calling DSS or CommonHelp
“I need to apply for SNAP, TANF, child care, or Medicaid after a safety crisis. What documents do you need, and is there any emergency processing or local office help available?”
Common mistakes to avoid
- Do not assume a shelter bed is open without calling first.
- Do not skip court dates for protective orders without asking the court or a lawyer what happens next.
- Do not start child support or custody paperwork without asking about address safety if the other parent is dangerous.
- Do not ignore mail from SNAP, TANF, Medicaid, child care, or the court.
- Do not post your new location, school, workplace, or shelter area online.
Resumen en español
Si usted o sus hijos están en peligro inmediato, llame al 911. En Virginia, puede llamar a la lÃnea estatal de violencia doméstica y sexual al 1-800-838-8238 o enviar texto al 804-793-9999. La ayuda es confidencial y está disponible todo el dÃa.
Puede pedir ayuda con refugio, transporte, órdenes de protección, asistencia legal, comida, cuidado infantil, vivienda y beneficios. Si no es seguro hablar por teléfono, use un teléfono más seguro o pida ayuda por texto cuando pueda.
FAQ
Can I get help if I am not ready to leave?
Yes. You can call or text the Virginia hotline even if you are not ready to leave, report, or file in court. An advocate can talk through options without forcing a choice.
Do I have to call police to get shelter?
Usually no. Domestic violence programs often help people who have not called police. Shelter depends on space, safety fit, and local rules.
Can a protective order include my children?
It may, depending on the facts and the judge’s order. Ask a court clerk, advocate, or lawyer how to request protection for children in your case.
What if I live in subsidized housing?
You may have federal VAWA housing protections. Ask your housing provider for VAWA forms and talk to legal aid if you are denied, threatened with eviction, or need an emergency transfer.
Can I apply for benefits after leaving?
Yes. You can use CommonHelp to apply for SNAP, TANF, child care, energy help, and health coverage. Processing times and proof rules vary by program.
Should I apply for child support right away?
Not always. Child support can be important, but it can also create safety or address concerns. Talk to a lawyer or advocate first if the other parent is abusive.
About this guide
This guide uses official federal, state, local, and other high-trust nonprofit and community sources mentioned in the article.
A Single Mother is independent and is not a government agency, benefits office, lender, law firm, medical provider, or tax advisor.
Program rules, funding, local availability, and eligibility can change. Always confirm details with the official program before you apply or make decisions.
Verification: Last verified May 20, 2026, next review August 20, 2026.
Corrections: If you see something wrong or outdated, email suggestions@asinglemother.org.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information only. It is not legal, financial, medical, tax, immigration, disability, safety, or government-agency advice.