Last updated: June 19, 2026
If you are in danger right now
Call 911 if you or your children are in immediate danger. If this page, your phone, your email, or your location may be watched, use a safer phone or computer when you can. A trusted neighbor, clinic, school, library, shelter, court, or public office may be safer than your own device.
The Virginia hotline is free, confidential, and open day and night. Call 1-800-838-8238, text 804-793-9999, or use chat from a safer device. The hotline can connect you with a local domestic violence or sexual assault advocate.
You can also call, text, or chat with 988 Lifeline if you feel like you may hurt yourself, cannot stay safe, or need crisis support. If sexual assault is part of what happened, you can call the RAINN hotline at 800-656-4673.
This guide is general information. It is not legal advice, safety advice, medical advice, or a promise that a shelter bed, court order, benefit, or payment will be available.
Bottom line
Single mothers in Virginia can ask for domestic violence help through the statewide hotline, local advocacy programs, courts, legal aid, victim funds, housing protections, public benefits, and local services. You do not have to have every paper ready before asking for help. You also do not have to call police, leave today, or stay in shelter to talk with an advocate.
The safest first step is often to contact a confidential advocate before making big changes. An advocate can help you think through children, shelter, transportation, court, address privacy, work, school, benefits, and phone safety. If the first program is full or cannot help, ask for another referral.
For a broader national overview, see ASMOM’s domestic violence help guide. For fast needs in this state, see Virginia emergency help.
Where to start in Virginia
Choose the first step that fits your situation. Skip anything that feels unsafe. If you can only make one call, call or text the Virginia hotline and ask for the local program that serves your city or county.
If you need to talk safely
Call or text the statewide hotline. Ask for a local advocate, shelter options, court support, transportation help, or safer contact ideas.
If you need court protection
Use the Virginia courts’ court self-help page or I-CAN Virginia to understand protective order forms and steps.
If you need benefits
Use CommonHelp to apply for or manage SNAP, TANF, child care, energy assistance, and health coverage.
If you need local services
Use 211 Virginia for food, rent, transportation, health care, shelter, and other community resources by ZIP code.
Quick contacts for Virginia
Use this table as a starting point. If someone may be watching your phone or browser, use a safer device or ask a trusted person to make the call with you.
| Need | Where to start | What to ask |
|---|---|---|
| Immediate danger | 911 | Ask for police, fire, or medical help now. |
| Domestic or sexual violence | 1-800-838-8238 or text 804-793-9999 | Ask for a local advocate, shelter, or court support. |
| Local programs | Get Help map | Search for agencies that serve your area. |
| Food, rent, utilities | 2-1-1 or text CONNECT to 247211 | Ask what is open near your ZIP code today. |
| Child abuse concerns | Virginia CPS | Call 911 for emergencies or the CPS hotline for reports. |
| Mental health crisis | 988 | Call, text, or chat if you cannot stay safe. |
Local domestic violence programs in Virginia
Virginia has local domestic violence and sexual assault programs across the state. Services may include hotline help, crisis support, safety planning, shelter, transportation, court advocacy, counseling referrals, and help for children. The VDSS domestic violence page says local programs provide safe, trauma-informed, accessible services for survivors and their children.
The statewide hotline can help you find the program that serves your area. This matters because shelter beds, advocates, legal clinics, and transportation help are local. A program in Richmond, Norfolk, Roanoke, Northern Virginia, Southwest Virginia, the Shenandoah Valley, Hampton Roads, or a rural county may have different options.
If calling is hard
Text the hotline, use chat from a safer device, or ask 2-1-1 for local resources. If you are afraid a callback could put you at risk, say that at the start of the call or text.
Protective orders in Virginia
A protective order is a court order. It may tell the other person not to contact you, not to come near you, or not to enter a shared home. The exact terms depend on the judge and the facts of the case.
Virginia courts describe two main protective order paths. A family abuse protective order is heard in Juvenile and Domestic Relations District Court. A non-family abuse protective order is heard in General District Court. A local advocate, court clerk, or legal aid lawyer can help you think through which path fits.
| Order type | Common use | Where to ask | Reality check |
|---|---|---|---|
| Emergency Protective Order | Immediate danger after an incident. | Police, magistrate, or judge. | It is short-term. Ask what to do before it expires. |
| Preliminary Protective Order | Temporary protection before a full hearing. | Local court. | You may need to return for another hearing soon. |
| Final Protective Order | Longer protection after a hearing. | Court after notice and hearing. | The other person may appear in court. |
I-CAN Virginia is a free online court-approved tool that helps fill out protective order forms and prints instructions. A DCJS protective order guide says you do not have to press criminal charges to ask for a protective order. If it is unsafe to use online tools, ask an advocate or court clerk about other filing options.
Custody and safety warning
Protective orders, custody cases, child support, and divorce can overlap. Before you agree to visits, exchanges, mediation, or a parenting plan, ask an advocate or attorney how to raise safety concerns with the court.
Shelter, safe housing, and address privacy
Shelter beds can fill quickly. The hotline can search for the closest safe option and may know which programs serve your city or county. Some programs also help with transportation, safety planning, counseling referrals, court advocacy, and children’s needs.
If you live in public housing, have a Housing Choice Voucher, or live in other covered assisted housing, federal VAWA rules may protect you from being denied housing, evicted, or punished because of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, or stalking. HUD explains VAWA housing rights, and HUD Form 5382 may be used when a covered housing provider asks for written documentation.
If you recently moved and need to keep your address private, ask an advocate about Virginia’s Address Confidentiality Program. The program can provide a substitute mailing address for eligible survivors. It is not a full safety plan and does not erase old records.
Housing reality check
Emergency shelter, rapid rehousing, vouchers, and rental help depend on local funding and space. If one agency says no, ask for another referral and call 2-1-1 for a search by ZIP code.
For related housing steps, see ASMOM’s Virginia housing help guide. If lights, heat, or bills are part of the crisis, see Virginia utility help.
Food, cash, child care, and health coverage
Leaving abuse can disrupt work, child care, transportation, food, and documents. Public benefits are not instant, but applying early can help. Virginia’s benefit programs page says VDSS offers food, health care, child care, cash assistance, and energy help. CommonHelp can be used to apply, renew, report changes, and manage cases.
| Program | What it may help with | Where to start | Important note |
|---|---|---|---|
| SNAP | Food benefits on an EBT card. | CommonHelp or local DSS. | Ask about missing proof and deadlines. |
| TANF | Cash help and work supports. | CommonHelp or local DSS. | Rules vary by family and case details. |
| Child Care Subsidy | Help paying child care costs. | Child Care VA. | Provider rules, waitlists, and copays can apply. |
| Medicaid/FAMIS | Health coverage for eligible adults, children, and pregnancy. | Cover Virginia. | Renewal papers matter. Do not ignore notices. |
| Energy Assistance | Help with heating, cooling, or crisis energy needs. | CommonHelp or local DSS. | Seasonal windows and crisis rules may apply. |
ASMOM has state guides for Virginia SNAP, Virginia TANF, Virginia health care, and Virginia child care.
Medical care, sexual assault exams, and victim funds
If you were hurt, strangled, sexually assaulted, drugged, or threatened with a weapon, medical care can matter even if you are not sure you want to report to police. A hotline advocate can help you find a hospital, forensic nurse, or sexual assault program.
The SAFE Payment Program pays for costs tied to evidence collection through a medical forensic exam after sexual assault. The Virginia Victims Fund is a state program that may help eligible victims of violent crime with out-of-pocket expenses. Its public list includes possible costs such as medical bills, prescriptions, counseling, moving, temporary housing, and mileage for certain appointments.
Victim funds have rules, forms, deadlines, and documentation needs. VVF also says it is a payor of last resort, which means other resources may be considered first. If you are overwhelmed, ask a victim/witness advocate, domestic violence advocate, sexual assault advocate, or legal aid office for help.
Children, custody, support, and legal help
If the other parent is abusive, custody, visitation, child support, school pickup, and address safety can become connected. Do not rely only on advice from friends, social media, or the other parent. Ask a legal aid lawyer, court self-help staff member, or domestic violence advocate before filing paperwork that may reveal your location or change parenting arrangements.
If you believe a child is being abused or neglected, call 911 for emergencies. Virginia DSS says suspected abuse or neglect can also be reported to the 24-hour Child Protective Services Hotline at 800-552-7096.
For civil legal help, use Virginia Law Help or call legal aid at 1-866-534-5243. Legal aid may have income rules, case limits, and intake hours, so call as early as you can. For ASMOM next steps, see Virginia legal help, Virginia child support, and family safety law.
Documents and information to gather if safe
Only gather documents if it will not put you or your children in more danger. You can ask for help before you have every paper. If you are applying for several programs, ASMOM’s documents checklist can help you organize what to collect later.
| Item | Why it may help | Do not risk |
|---|---|---|
| IDs and birth records | Benefits, school, housing, court, banking. | Your safety to retrieve papers. |
| Benefit cards and case numbers | SNAP, Medicaid, TANF, child care, WIC. | Taking a card if it alerts the abuser. |
| Lease and utility bills | VAWA rights, rent help, utility help. | Going back alone for papers. |
| Court papers | Police, schools, child care, housing office. | Sharing copies with unsafe people. |
| Safe contact list | Schools, doctors, lawyers, advocates. | Saving names in a watched phone. |
If you are denied, delayed, or ignored
It is common to hear that a shelter is full, an appointment is weeks away, or an office needs more paperwork. This does not mean you are out of options.
- Ask the hotline for another local program, not just one shelter.
- Ask DSS what proof is missing and how to submit it safely.
- Ask legal aid whether there is a deadline or hearing date you should not miss.
- Ask 2-1-1 to search nearby counties if your city has no funding.
- Keep notes with names, dates, and what each office said, if safe.
ASMOM also has guides for Virginia community help, Virginia baby gear, and the national denied benefits guide.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Assuming a shelter bed is open. Call first if it is safe, or ask the hotline to check for you.
- Skipping court dates. Ask the court, advocate, or lawyer what happens if you miss a protective order hearing.
- Filing child support too fast. Child support can help, but it can also raise safety or address concerns.
- Ignoring benefit mail. SNAP, TANF, Medicaid, child care, and court notices may have deadlines.
- Posting your location. Do not post your shelter area, new school, work site, or court date online.
Phone scripts you can use
Calling the Virginia hotline
“I am a single mother in Virginia. I may not be safe at home. I need help finding local options for shelter, transportation, court advocacy, and a safer plan. It may not be safe to call me back.”
Calling legal aid
“I need help with a domestic violence situation involving children, housing, or a protective order. I have a hearing or deadline coming up. Can I do intake today, and what papers should I have ready?”
Calling a housing worker
“I am asking about VAWA housing protections because of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, or stalking. Please tell me how to request an emergency transfer or submit self-certification.”
Calling DSS or CommonHelp
“I need to apply for SNAP, TANF, child care, energy help, or Medicaid after a safety crisis. What documents do you need, and is there emergency processing or local office help available?”
Resumen en español
Si usted o sus hijos están en peligro inmediato, llame al 911. En Virginia, puede llamar a la línea estatal de violencia doméstica y sexual al 1-800-838-8238 o enviar texto al 804-793-9999. La ayuda es confidencial y está disponible todo el día.
Puede pedir ayuda con refugio, transporte, órdenes de protección, asistencia legal, comida, cuidado infantil, vivienda y beneficios. Si no es seguro hablar por teléfono, use un teléfono más seguro o pida ayuda por texto cuando pueda.
FAQ
Can I get help if I am not ready to leave?
Yes. You can call or text the Virginia hotline even if you are not ready to leave, report to police, or file in court. An advocate can talk through options without forcing a choice.
Do I have to call police to get shelter?
Usually no. Domestic violence programs often help people who have not called police. Shelter depends on space, safety fit, and local program rules.
Can a protective order include my children?
It may, depending on the facts and the judge’s order. Ask a court clerk, advocate, or lawyer how to request protection for children in your case.
What if I live in subsidized housing?
You may have federal VAWA housing protections. Ask your housing provider for VAWA forms and talk to legal aid if you are denied, threatened with eviction, or need an emergency transfer.
Can I apply for benefits after leaving?
Yes. You can use CommonHelp to apply for SNAP, TANF, child care, energy help, and health coverage. Processing times and proof rules vary by program.
Should I apply for child support right away?
Not always. Child support can be important, but it can also create safety or address concerns. Talk to a lawyer or advocate first if the other parent is abusive.
Review dates
Last updated: June 19, 2026. Next review: September 19, 2026.
About this guide
This guide uses official federal, state, local, and other high-trust nonprofit and community sources mentioned in the article.
A Single Mother is independent and is not a government agency, benefits office, lender, law firm, medical provider, or tax advisor.
Program rules, funding, local availability, and eligibility can change. Always confirm details with the official program before you apply or make decisions.
Verification: Last verified June 19, 2026, next review September 19, 2026.
Corrections: If you see something wrong or outdated, email suggestions@asinglemother.org.
Disclaimer: This article is for general information only. It is not legal, financial, medical, tax, immigration, disability, safety, or government-agency advice.